Do YOU know the Muffin Man?- An Interview with the Rainbow Macaroni

"Macaroni, Macaroni, Macaroni, Macaroni! Put the cheese in the middle, and what do you get?"

And so said my slightly crazy, random cousin. Here is a transcript of the interview I conducted with her.

A finished copy of this article will appear in July's Macaroni Journal.

Ninja of Pink Socks: So... how is it going?

Rainbow Macaroni: Is that a threat?

NoPS: Do you like Potatoes?

RM: ……Yes, but in Soviet Russia potatoes like you!

NoPS: When did you first realize that you were in a love triangle involving a chipmunk by the name of Jimmy and the Muffin Man?

RM: Do you know the muffin man? Besides, the muffin man exploded, because I over cooked him. I fed him to Jimmy while he frolicked around with his pink unicorn, Brandon, while singing, “All around the mulberry bush the monkey chased the weasel. The monkey thought it was all for fun. POP, goes the weasel.”

NoPS: How do you feel about the latest attempts of the lawn gnomes to infiltrate the secret layer of the pink hamsters?

RM: I believe the Jason, Freddy Cougar, and Snuggle the laundry detergent bear will do a good job.

NoPS: Do you ever wish that you could light a third-world country on fire?

RM: Why are you telling me of you plans for world domination?

NoPS: Please explain.

RM: [laughs head off] Well, it all started when my cousin came up to me and asked, “Do you ever wish that you could light a third-world country on fire?” I replied, “Why are you telling me of you plans for world domination?” She replied, “Please explain.” I replied, “Well, it all started when my cousin came up to me and asked, “Do you ever wish that you could light a third-world country on fire?” I replied, “Why are you telling me of you plans for world domination?” She replied, “Please explain.” I replied, “Well, it all started when my cousin came up to me and asked, “Do you ever wish that you could light a third-world country on fire?” I replied, “Why are you telling me of you plans for world domination?” She replied, “Please explain.” I replied, “Well, it all started when my cousin came up to me and asked, “Do you ever wish that you could light a third-world country on fire?” I replied, “Why are you telling me of you plans for world domination?” She replied, “Please explain.” Ect, ect.

NoPS: In the form of a limerick, please describe why I totally PWN!!!!

RM: By whose standers do you ‘PWN’

NoPS: Have you ever considered eating pennies because they were made in a 'mint'?

RM: Possibly, excuse me while I get the help of mindless rainbow macaroni from the fourth dimension to answer that.

NoPS: Death by evil computer program or Russian car?

RM: OMG, OMG, OMG! I like so totally know this question! It’s death by evil computer program. 1 point me and 0 points for the Russian car

NoPS: Whatever. Well, I must declare that this has most certainly been an interesting interview, but unfortunately, I must run to catch a flight to Antarctica for the reunion of my old Viking ship, Enterprise. I used to serve as a bar dancer/ priestess for that ship. Good times, good times.

NoPS: Any closing comments?

RM: [pats head] Good for you.

NoPS: ....Okay, that will do... I suppose...